yar.

i feel like i've reached the point in this process of grief when i have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on. two and a half months is a long time to let your brain convince you to feel sorry for yourself and to mope around doing nothing.

i've learned a lot about myself through this. i've been a mover and a shaker, especially when things get hard. but this time, i've pretty much just stayed put and was quiet. paul has been incredible. he doesn't let me run. he lets me freak out and cry and act all weird, but he doesn't let me run. he helps me think rationally and clearly. he's such a good man.

i'm going to try to get a car and a job tomorrow. i ran into a high school friend in target the other day and she told me about career connections. they aren't a temp agency, they permanently place you in a job. so i'm gonna check them out tomorrow.

in other news, i came home today to a plague of bugs (does 3 qualify as a plague?) and no hot water. weird combo of events.