do-over.

"don't quit. it's very easy to quit during the first 10 years. nobody cares whether you write or not, and it's very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. you can't get fired if you don't write, and most of the time you don't get rewarded if you do. but don't quit."

andre dubus

i can't tell you how many times i've quit. i've even quit quitting, only to quit quitting quitting. at this point, i've lost track of whether i'm a writer or not. so to be safe, i just write uncohesive sentences. that way i'm still writing, but not really.

but every damn time i walk into a bookstore, i find myself eying covers, pages, words, letters, periods, commas, exclamation points, and even semicolons with such covetousness. and before i know it, i'm in the writing section with 15 books on how to be inspired, or how to get published, or how to read in order to write towering in my hands. i don't need these books, i tell myself. i already know how to write, i just don't do it. i'm lazy. i'm scared. i'm not good enough. i use excess comma splices. i don't have anything to say.

screw it. i'm trying again.