this won't do.

"the front door flung open with unfamiliar ease, causing the doorknob to leave a lousy 'welcome home' hole in the smoke-stained drywall."

one down. one million to go.

abcdefg

one sentence is all i need. just one little line with a noun, a verb, and maybe an adjective, and my story will be standing alone on it's own wobbly feet. this is a first draft, for crying out loud. it's not even a masterpiece. i'm just sitting here with the edward scissorhands soundtrack playing and 50,000 words tumbling through my head. and none of them fit together to create one damn sentence.

someone please remind me why i love writing so much.

beauty school drop-in.

beginning september 7, i will be a future professional at paul mitchell the school here in columbia. you may be shocked at this seemingly random change of career paths. however, this isn't entirely too spur-of-the-moment for me. i feel as if it's been a long time coming.

in spite of my often haggard appearance, i've been captivated by beauty since i was a child. my mother always had the best makeup, perfume, and gravity defying hair (but that's the 80's for you.) though i couldn't sit still long enough to actually use these things on myself, they were always very familiar.

and so began my love for collecting various perfumes and hair products. even now, i have an entire window sill full of potions and elixirs to tame my almost animalistic frizz ball on my head. but my absolute favorite so far, in all of my years of collecting, are a few products from the aquage line. i've never been so satisfied and impressed that a haircare product actually delivers what it claims. superior color protection shampoo and conditioner (thermal protection and sunscreen!), thermal protection sprays that leave my hair unfathomably smooth, and a volumizing foam to give my hair super bouncy lift. and this whole time, i thought it was impossible to have good hair in columbia's brutal summer humidity. aquage for the win!

so besides my obvious love for hair products, i also have an insatiable interest in film and theatre. i'm sure i don't have to tell you of the limitless possibilities in the entertainment/beauty industry. but now i will actually be certified to do hair in the entertainment industry.

and the most important factor to me is the undeniable chance to build interesting relationships with people and potentially change lives. first of all, there is a certain level of immediate trust between hair dresser and client as soon as he or she sits in the chair. hair is a big deal to most people. one bad hair experience can leave a lasting impression (i still remember my awful haircut from the 7th grade and the teasing that ensued. thanks grandma.) but one good...no, great hair experience could encourage a person to accomplish things they may not have had the confidence to tackle.

for instance, my most recent hair appointment with betsy joy at five points salon lead me to confide in her my interest in beauty school. not only did she encourage me to go for it, but she gave me the most amazing cut and color i have ever had in my life. i felt like a million bucks just looking in the mirror and decided to give paul mitchell a shot. if i can not only encourage someone to pursue a dream but make them feel like they can reach their dream and beyond, sign me up. and that's what betsy joy did for me. and did i tip her well!

oh. and there are jobs to be had in the beauty industry. mega win.

so needless to say, i'm very excited about this new adventure. it's not the navy. it's not grad school. it's exactly what i want to do. it's creative. it's personal. it's everywhere. no telling where i'll be in a year from now!

do-over.

"don't quit. it's very easy to quit during the first 10 years. nobody cares whether you write or not, and it's very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. you can't get fired if you don't write, and most of the time you don't get rewarded if you do. but don't quit."

andre dubus

i can't tell you how many times i've quit. i've even quit quitting, only to quit quitting quitting. at this point, i've lost track of whether i'm a writer or not. so to be safe, i just write uncohesive sentences. that way i'm still writing, but not really.

but every damn time i walk into a bookstore, i find myself eying covers, pages, words, letters, periods, commas, exclamation points, and even semicolons with such covetousness. and before i know it, i'm in the writing section with 15 books on how to be inspired, or how to get published, or how to read in order to write towering in my hands. i don't need these books, i tell myself. i already know how to write, i just don't do it. i'm lazy. i'm scared. i'm not good enough. i use excess comma splices. i don't have anything to say.

screw it. i'm trying again.

gmhsalmtoy.

during a much needed house cleaning break, i dusted off the self-titled debut album from boy band favorites *nsync. i am overwhelmed by the incredible musical taste i had as a 14 year old. not to mention how dreamy they are.

can you believe they actually had a song called "giddy up" and that i never quite knew what it really meant? go listen to it and tell me i wasn't an innocent soul in '98.